November 17, 2007

Do You Know the Muffin Man, the Muffin Man, the Muffin Man...

*Low-fat brownie points if you know the reference in the title.

A couple of years ago I watched the movie Match Point. I'd picked it up on a whim one weekend when the kiddo was gone to his father's. It's a Woody Allen film - a director I don't usually necessarily get or care much for - about a young, male tennis pro who's at a crossroad in life and looking for change. The movie stars Scarlett Johansson, an actress I really didn't know much about at the time but came to find out is one of the hotties the males of our species ogle. Apparently she's got the "best boobs in Hollywood". Do you know what else she has? A muffin top.

At the time I was watching Match Point I might have heard the term "muffin top" only once or twice, yet during the one hot, sexy scene in the movie as her shirt moved up from the waistband of her pants, her muffin top was exposed. For the first time ever I sat there looking at an actress adored by millions and thinking to myself "Wow, I guess we don't all have to be rail thin to be attractive."

Now don't get me wrong here, I'm certainly no Scarlett Johansson. Not by any stretch of the imagination. But it was comforting for a moment seeing a very beautiful, talented woman who not only had but was showing some curves. It sickens me how skewed the view of the perfect body shape is. Take for example Courtney Yates, the sickeningly anorexic looking contestant on Survivor China. This girl is wicked thin. And you can't tell me it's all from playing the game. She was a rail when the show first started and is simply wasting away to nothing. Her co-contestant Frosti thought it was "really cool that somebody like Courtney" would like him. Gah!

So now that I've rambled on about actresses and reality teevee show contestants, you're probably wondering what in the hell this has to do with anything related to this blog. Well, I'll tell you. I have a muffin top. I've also got big boobs, but that doesn't balance it out I'm afraid. And then there's my not exactly toned up abdomen that really bugs me, but that's a subject for another day.

Back to my muffin top. It really bugs me. And heading into the heart attack on a plate feeding frenzy we like to call the "holiday season", I'm trying to figure out how to keep my already rolling muffin top from expanding any further. When I reach for a muffin - a real one, from the bakery case - the top's the best part. But this one I'm carrying around my middle... it's got to go!

Not sure how to go about getting rid of it, but that's what's on my mind right now.

Any suggestions?


Freak Magnet said...

I have a baker's dozen muffin top. But now I feel better about it, because she's beautiful, and you're beautiful, so it can't be all that bad, can it?

Lisa said...

You're funny! But TYFT!! :)

Liss said...

Personally I think you are beautiful. If you aren't happy though, there are things you can do...specific exercises and then there is a diet out there that focuses on a woman's abs...If you go to Amazon and look at 2007 top 100 books, you'll see it. I don't remember the name.

btw...Scarlet is wicked hot and I love the movie Match Point...I also don't ever pick up Woody Allen flicks but I saw the cover and it intrigued me

Aimee Greeblemonkey said...

Yeah, my muffin top is more like a loaf. But I also love it when actresses aren't waifs. Rock on Scarlet.

Aimee Greeblemonkey said...

Oh, and I can't stand Woody, so I haven't seen the movie. But maybe I will now...

Kelly Malloy said...

I've got my own muffin top too!

david mcmahon said...

I used to be a tennis writer (in my twenties) which was a dream job, covering Wimbledon - so I guess I'll have to see this movie!!

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