January 30, 2008

red alert, red alert... you have crossed into the danger zone

It's only a pound or two, so you promise yourself you'll do better tomorrow. When tomorrow never comes and those one or two pounds become three or four you rationalize that it really isn't all that bad since you're still a wonderful pound under your goal weight - the weight you never really imagined you'd ever get to again, let alone surpass it and keep it off for a year. But when that rationalization fails and you find yourself one disgusting pound over your goal weight... it's a RED ALERT moment. There's absolutely NOTHING you can say to make that lowly pound (or the other three or four on top of it) be alright.

I'm ashamed to admit all systems are in RED ALERT status for me. I'm so freakin' embarrassed that I've ignored all the warning signs. How on earth could I have not already learned my lesson from the past? Or do I just not care?

Of course I care, or I wouldn't be here airing my secret dirty laundry. Right?

So what am I missing? I've got plenty of excuses I can give - winter weather so less physical movement, meds are off again, stress over things I have no control over. They all work, and individually are all truly part of the problem. But that doesn't make them excuses. It makes them action items. Things that need to change.

My future is very uncertain right now and I'm heading straight into that brick wall I've hit so many times before. I need to find the brakes, and quick. I'm just not sure I have it in me, again.


Freak Magnet said...

I always say, "If I make it to such and such a weight, I will kick ass to get back to where I was - I will NOT weigh more than that." Of course, it never works.

It's excellent that you've noticed it and it means you're that much closer to getting back to where you want to be.

Catherine said...

Good post.

Dx said...

Hi Lisa, I go away for a couple of years and you start putting on weight. I blame myself. If I hadn't stopped blogging, you would never have let yourself go. Senior Management says that no diet will ever work... except the ones she thinks up for me.

Good luck with the regime.