It's only a pound or two, so you promise yourself you'll do better tomorrow. When tomorrow never comes and those one or two pounds become three or four you rationalize that it really isn't all that bad since you're still a wonderful pound under your goal weight - the weight you never really imagined you'd ever get to again, let alone surpass it and keep it off for a year. But when that rationalization fails and you find yourself one disgusting pound over your goal weight... it's a RED ALERT moment. There's absolutely NOTHING you can say to make that lowly pound (or the other three or four on top of it) be alright.
I'm ashamed to admit all systems are in RED ALERT status for me. I'm so freakin' embarrassed that I've ignored all the warning signs. How on earth could I have not already learned my lesson from the past? Or do I just not care?
Of course I care, or I wouldn't be here airing my secret dirty laundry. Right?
So what am I missing? I've got plenty of excuses I can give - winter weather so less physical movement, meds are off again, stress over things I have no control over. They all work, and individually are all truly part of the problem. But that doesn't make them excuses. It makes them action items. Things that need to change.
My future is very uncertain right now and I'm heading straight into that brick wall I've hit so many times before. I need to find the brakes, and quick. I'm just not sure I have it in me, again.
January 30, 2008
January 13, 2008
physically speaking, not such a happy new year
I can't believe we're heading into the third week of the new year already! Where does the time go? There never seems to be enough time in the day/week/month to get everything done, yet somehow it passes like a blink of the eye.
Now if you asked me "where does the fat go?" I could tell you exactly where. Right around my middle. Ugh! As I mentioned in November I have a muffin top; one that's increased since then due to my not doing a damned thing about it. Part of it is the time factor, but basically the most of it's been falling back into some bad habits I thought I'd broken and sheer laziness.
I realized the other day after eating out 3 times in one week (3 times more than I've done in a single week in a long, long time) that not only were the eating out food choices I'd made very poor, but my at home eating has plummeted to an all time low. When you can't remember the last time you ate a vegetable, not counting the salsa (if you can even count that) on your chips or the single slice of lettuce and tomato on your roast beef sandwich, you've been making very poor food choices. Yup, that sums it up for me! I'm spiraling into the carb overload mode and my body is feeling it in more ways then one.
First there's the waistline, or to be more accurate the "disappearing" waistline. Second, the interrupted sleep pattern. And third, the complete lack of energy. The crazy thing about all of this is the scale doesn't show any change. I always fluctuate 2-4 lbs. whether I'm strictly watching myself or not. And this is the time of the year when all of these things occur - post holiday - so on the surface it seems normal.
But it isn't. Believe me when I tell you after working hard to lose the 40 lbs. I've lost I know this is my "wake up call" to do something about it. Which circles me back to the time and laziness factors. Grrr! Why is it always the neverending boom-a-rang cycle that kills us?
As I pointed out this morning, Liss has started trying out healthier menu planning for the week and, being that she loves to cook, is trying out some really yummy sounding recipes that she was willing to share. I want to try this out as well though might not use all of her recipes with having to feed the little man too, but it's a good start. But I also know what I really need to do, and the thought of it frustrates me. I honestly need to GET OFF MY ASS and get doing something. This stupid climate we live in really makes it hard to get outside most days (except for days like today when I should have taken the opportunity while it was there but chose to park it and watch football all freakin' day) so that leaves me either joining a gym (yeah, fat chance - no pun intended - of that happening with my tight budget and limited time) or finding something at home that will get me moving again.
So help a girl out. What sort of activities have you found that work? And, maybe even more important, how do you incorporate them into your schedules and actually stick with them?
Now if you asked me "where does the fat go?" I could tell you exactly where. Right around my middle. Ugh! As I mentioned in November I have a muffin top; one that's increased since then due to my not doing a damned thing about it. Part of it is the time factor, but basically the most of it's been falling back into some bad habits I thought I'd broken and sheer laziness.
I realized the other day after eating out 3 times in one week (3 times more than I've done in a single week in a long, long time) that not only were the eating out food choices I'd made very poor, but my at home eating has plummeted to an all time low. When you can't remember the last time you ate a vegetable, not counting the salsa (if you can even count that) on your chips or the single slice of lettuce and tomato on your roast beef sandwich, you've been making very poor food choices. Yup, that sums it up for me! I'm spiraling into the carb overload mode and my body is feeling it in more ways then one.
First there's the waistline, or to be more accurate the "disappearing" waistline. Second, the interrupted sleep pattern. And third, the complete lack of energy. The crazy thing about all of this is the scale doesn't show any change. I always fluctuate 2-4 lbs. whether I'm strictly watching myself or not. And this is the time of the year when all of these things occur - post holiday - so on the surface it seems normal.
But it isn't. Believe me when I tell you after working hard to lose the 40 lbs. I've lost I know this is my "wake up call" to do something about it. Which circles me back to the time and laziness factors. Grrr! Why is it always the neverending boom-a-rang cycle that kills us?
As I pointed out this morning, Liss has started trying out healthier menu planning for the week and, being that she loves to cook, is trying out some really yummy sounding recipes that she was willing to share. I want to try this out as well though might not use all of her recipes with having to feed the little man too, but it's a good start. But I also know what I really need to do, and the thought of it frustrates me. I honestly need to GET OFF MY ASS and get doing something. This stupid climate we live in really makes it hard to get outside most days (except for days like today when I should have taken the opportunity while it was there but chose to park it and watch football all freakin' day) so that leaves me either joining a gym (yeah, fat chance - no pun intended - of that happening with my tight budget and limited time) or finding something at home that will get me moving again.
So help a girl out. What sort of activities have you found that work? And, maybe even more important, how do you incorporate them into your schedules and actually stick with them?
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